This article deserves to circulate. Seems like the mainstream is so caught up gamifying relationships they lost sight of their subject.
I see a multi-stage manipulation. Manipulate people into manipulating each other. They then need more advice to continue the manipulation. They pay more attention coins to the manipulation advice machine. Profit. Repeat.
It's one of the reasons I can't bring myself to use dating apps. Staring at my phone, swiping left and right, judging abbreviations of people for hours just feels wrong. I'd rather meet someone at a book, bike, or dance club.
"... relying on what they call deactivating strategies. The person tries not to seek closeness, plays down their own need for it, and stays clear of depending on anyone. These habits form early, in relationships with caregivers who ignored or punished a child’s expressions of need."
This right here. Actually, that whole paragraph is the most succinct description of avoidant attachment I've seen. As someone who's been working on his AA for the last five years, this language is invaluable. Simple, concise, clear = less brain power needed to interpret what's happening.
Leave this up please. I'll read it again from time to time.
“Gamifying relationships.” That sure is one way to put it. And I personally agree; in my opinion, at least, dating apps these days just numb us to actually connecting with people on any deeper level. I can only hope that more self-aware individuals will share insight on their own experiences to foster a different, and honestly helpful, perspectives n conversations around modern dating styles that others can relate to. Thank you for reading and sharing this article! Thank you for your gift!! I feel truly seen!
This article deserves to circulate. Seems like the mainstream is so caught up gamifying relationships they lost sight of their subject.
I see a multi-stage manipulation. Manipulate people into manipulating each other. They then need more advice to continue the manipulation. They pay more attention coins to the manipulation advice machine. Profit. Repeat.
It's one of the reasons I can't bring myself to use dating apps. Staring at my phone, swiping left and right, judging abbreviations of people for hours just feels wrong. I'd rather meet someone at a book, bike, or dance club.
"... relying on what they call deactivating strategies. The person tries not to seek closeness, plays down their own need for it, and stays clear of depending on anyone. These habits form early, in relationships with caregivers who ignored or punished a child’s expressions of need."
This right here. Actually, that whole paragraph is the most succinct description of avoidant attachment I've seen. As someone who's been working on his AA for the last five years, this language is invaluable. Simple, concise, clear = less brain power needed to interpret what's happening.
Leave this up please. I'll read it again from time to time.
Thank you.
“This article deserves to circulate.” Easier said than done 😉 I can only hope more people restack it ~ 🤭
Thanks for the reminder.
“Gamifying relationships.” That sure is one way to put it. And I personally agree; in my opinion, at least, dating apps these days just numb us to actually connecting with people on any deeper level. I can only hope that more self-aware individuals will share insight on their own experiences to foster a different, and honestly helpful, perspectives n conversations around modern dating styles that others can relate to. Thank you for reading and sharing this article! Thank you for your gift!! I feel truly seen!
You're welcome! You deserve it. Where did you find this level of insight? You're still a student right?
PhD ~ I'll stay a student forever (metaphorically)
Bet. Leveling something up every day.